This week marks an anniversary of sorts for me.
Ten years ago, I made a life-changing decision to move back to Birmingham and to ultimately end my first marriage. It’s not something I talk about often. As a Christian, having gone through a divorce is not something I’m proud of, and I don’t tend to dwell on it. In hindsight, I know it was absolutely the best decision for me, my daughter and my situation.
When I was going through the situation though, I was terrified. I’m a planner by nature, and it works best for me if I can see the big picture before I take a step. If I knew everything though, why would I need faith? I can’t tell you the countless scenarios I played out in my mind about what would happen if I stayed—and even scarier what would happen if I left. I had a baby to care for and no job and fear that if I walked away the God who despises divorce would not bless me. As scared as I was, I knew I had to do something, so on September 30, 2006, I took one step.
That one step has led to so many opened doors and so many blessings—things I never could have imagined when I was trying to figure out what would happen if I moved forward. Has it always been easy? No. Have I been scared? Absolutely. Honestly, there are still days when I am terrified, but I’ve learned to take one step and do things afraid. That one step has taught me that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was. It has taught me that even when I mess up or think I’ve done something so bad God couldn’t possibly love me that in spite of myself, He loves me more than I can imagine.
I don’t know the ins and outs of your life. I don’t know what you’re struggling with or your fears. I do know that one step can make all the difference in the world. Your one step might look different than mine. It might mean making a bigger commitment to making your marriage work, it might mean applying for a job for which you don’t feel qualified or making a doctor’s appointment for some symptom that’s been nagging you. Whatever it is, I urge you to do something. The path may not be clear, and it may not be easy, but I can assure you that God will grant you enough light for the step you’re on.
