Author Jeannie Cunnion wants to help moms find relief from the pressure to get it all right. I recently spoke with her about her book Mom Set Free.
Tell me about your book, Mom Set Free.
Mom Set Free was written for the mom who feels overwhelmed and under pressure in her parenting.
We moms are told that we have to get it all right so our kids turn out right. We’re told that their entire futures are riding on our ability to perfectly orchestrate their lives. And we’re told that the strength of their faith hinges on ours. So we begin to believe that if we just try hard enough, we can actually “be enough.”
These impossible standards make us fear that we are not only letting down our kids but also disappointing God, and they leave us stuck in worry, anger, guilt, comparison, and shame.
We are desperate for relief!
Mom Set Free is an invitation to discover how the Good News of the Gospel empowers us to live—and parent—in the freedom for which Christ has set us free.
Why did you decide to write it?
Well, the truth is, God wrote this book on my heart first. He knew how much the truths held within the pages of Mom Set Free needed to be embedded in my own heart.
And the reason I am so excited to share it with other moms is because I’ve discovered this: I wasn’t the only mom who’d been trying to parent with grace without living in grace—without first accepting the grace of God for me, in all of my weakness, sin, and shortcomings. And I discovered I wasn’t the only one who struggled to believe God wasn’t disappointed in me (and even mad at me!) when I failed to reflect His heart to my children.
It was that discovery, along with the clear nudging from God, that inspired me to write Mom Set Free. Because if we want to give our kids grace we have to believe and accept God’s grace for us! We can’t give what we haven’t received.
What do you want readers to learn from the book?
In Mom Set Free, moms will learn how to:
- lay down what God has not asked us to carry so we thrive in what He has
- embrace our significance in light of God’s sovereignty
- discover God’s acceptance of us and affection for us, just as we are
- receive God’s grace so we can reflect God’s heart to our kids
- stop trying so hard and start enjoying our kids more
- weave grace into how we discipline our kids
- trust God with the kids He has entrusted to us
- become more of the mom we long to be for our kids
What do you want readers to learn from your life?
In spite of what God’s Word tells us, I have spent the majority of my life trying to make it easier for God to love me and “keep” his grace going for me. Which is ironic, really, because I was a preacher’s kid, raised in a very grace-filled home. So when God saved me when I was eight years old, I understood, as much as an eight-year-old can, that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8–9 NIV).
What I struggled to accept is that God’s grace was not only for my salvation but also for my ongoing sin and weakness. Yes, I knew that God’s grace was for my salvation. But, what I struggled to accept, as I got older and my sinful nature was more exposed, is that God’s grace is also for my on- going sin and weakness. Said differently, the more aware I became of just how short I fall of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), the more pressure I felt to attain unachievable perfection—to both keep God happy and to be a good “witness.”
I lived as though there were a follow-up verse to Ephesians 2:8–9 that reads: “. . . However, it is by your hard work and ceaseless striving that you will remain loved and accepted. You can’t save yourself. That is my doing. But you can try really hard to keep me happy and not lose my affection. It’s the least you can do, really, for all that I’ve done for you.”
But of course that verse is no- where to be found in Scripture. There is no such follow-up verse in Ephesians that says, “Jesus’ job was to save you. Your job is to keep God happy.” I just lived like there was.
I thought God’s love was something we work hard to keep and work hard to earn back when it’s lost.
What Scripture does say, however, is that “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21 NIV). Meaning, when we are in Christ, we are declared righteous. We are head-to-toe, inside-and-out, covered in the perfection of Jesus Christ. Made right with God, even while we are yet sinners. So we can stop striving for a seal of approval that has already been given to us by God in Jesus Christ. This means that the perfection I’d been ceaselessly striving for my whole life, in order to feel worthy of God’s love and grace, was already all mine, all because Jesus says, “I have her covered!” I was free to stop pursuing perfection and to start pursuing the person of Christ.
Freedom is for each and every one of us. God’s grace— His unwavering love, unrestrained affection, unconditional acceptance, and unending forgiveness—is given freely and generously in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23–24).
And Jesus longs, yes longs, to see us live – and parent – in freedom.
What is the best parenting advice you have ever gotten?
The best parenting advice I have ever gotten is also the best marriage advice I have ever gotten: Be willing to say the nine hardest words: I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.
And the way we do this freely is by first remembering the extravagant grace we have been given by God in Jesus Christ.
Our children don’t need us to be perfect. They need to see us modeling a freedom to confess we are not. But we have a Savior who is!
Creating a home of confession, not perfection, means creating a place where—when we fail and the Holy Spirit does the convicting and sweet work in our hearts—we can run to Jesus, repent, and receive forgiveness alongside our children. This is how we raise kids who confess sin willingly and repent sincerely. Isn’t that what we want for them?
We want our children to be free from carrying secrets and suffering in silence— because this is where shame festers. We want them to be free to speak what sometimes feels like the unspeakable in a safe place. Right? Well, if we want to have a home like that, we need to go first. We take the lead. We let them see that we are free to confess our weaknesses and brokenness because we have a Savior who loves and welcomes the weak and forgives the broken. In fact, we become more of who
our children need us to be, not in our growing awareness of how strong and good we are, but in our humble confession of how weak and broken we are, and how strong and good Jesus is for us—as we humbly say, “I get it. Me too.”
What’s next for Jeannie Cunnion?
Keeping my eyes on Jesus and being faithful to finish what He calls me to do. I’m actually not sure what is next, other than that. I’m wholeheartedly focused on helping Mom Set Free reach the women it was written for, and enjoying watching the way God will use it for His glory. And I have four boys to raise, and a husband to love!
Do you have anything you would like to add?
I guess I would only say this. I know a lot of women, and mothers, who feel like they have messed up too badly, or run too far, to ever experience the deep and freeing love and grace of God in their lives and in their parenting.
If that is you, I just want to encourage you. God’s grace runs deeper and wider than your greatest failure and sin. It is never too late to receive the mercy and forgiveness of God, and start walking in freedom from sin and shame.
This is not a pep talk. This is the truth of God’s Word. These are not my words. These are His: When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:6–8 NLT)
Did you catch that? While we were still sinners! At our worst. At our darkest. Jesus gave His life for us!
Jesus absorbed every ounce of sin and shame for you and for me on the Cross. And if He didn’t abandon us then, when He was absorbing the wrath of hell itself in our place, He isn’t going to abandon us now. Jesus chose the nails with full knowledge of the ways we would break His heart with our rebellion.
He chose you then. He chooses you now. And you are never too lost to be found.
Freedom is for you and freedom is for now!
To learn more about Jeannie Cunnion, visit her website or connect with her on social media.
Facebook: Jeannie Cunnion
Instagram: JeannieCunnion
Twitter: JeannieCunnion
Use my affiliate link to purchase your copy of Mom Set Free.
