Today, we are excited to welcome author Shundria Riddick to Magic City Momma. The licensed professional counselor coauthored the book Married for Five Minutes with bestselling author Michelle Stimpson, and today Riddick is sharing her insights about marriage grace. Welcome, Shundria.
Twenty years. I cannot believe I’ve been married for that long. It’s been a winding wonderful road. I’ve been asked, “If someone could have said one thing to you before you got married, what would it have been?”
My answer, “Buckle up!”
It’s been a ride. Highs have been high and lows have been low. I look at our young faces in our wedding picture and think “clueless!” Ha! Please don’t misunderstand; we loved each other then and we still do now. But neither of us knew the depth of love and sacrifice we were about to embark upon. We didn’t know what was about to be asked of ourselves or each other. We didn’t know.
I am so glad that the Lord kept us and still holds us. If it were left up to us, we would have driven our marriage into the ground. We had so many personal obstacles, unreasonable expectations, and worldly views of marriage. By the absolute grace of God, we are still together and have the privilege of encouraging others in their marriages. To God be the glory…
We’ve shared so many incredible years. My husband can still walk into a room and take my breath away. I don’t have the time to even begin explaining the joys we have experienced as husband and wife and parents to our three wonderful children.
And yet, we have required a great amount of grace. In spite of everything we’ve been through, grace kept us. It loved us. It carried us. When we wanted to walk away, it reminded us of the covenant we made with God and each other. When we laughed through great times, grace strengthened us. Grace is for us.
If I could say anything to encourage someone in marriage, it would be:
- It’s not always fair, don’t expect it.
- You may give more one season and your spouse may give more the next.
- Only Christ can complete you, not your spouse.
- Love is sacrifice, not a feeling. First Corinthians 13 is your “to do” list.
- Walking in your role is important. Know it.
- God’s Word is the authority, not your feelings.
- Arguing is healthy.
- Making up is even better.
- Laugh together.
- Hold hands.
- Forgive like you want to be forgiven.
- Accept that your spouse’s weaknesses are different than yours.
- Always pray together.
- Marriage is not meant to make you happy, but is meant to make you holy.
- Love your kids, but never put them before your marriage. (Your marriage is their foundation.)
- Live your life, understanding that a Godly healthy marriage and a healthy family are the enemy’s biggest threats. You are kingdom building. He wants your marriage and your children broken. He is your enemy not each other.
- Marriage still works.
I’m looking forward to many more years with my husband! We often say that no one else is crazy enough to be with us, so we might as well be together.